As a young girl, my grandmother taught me the importance of being a kind, honest, and generous person.
As I look back over the years, I have had many faces and changes in my attitude, style, and image, but the one trait that has never changed is my quest to be the best that I can be every day in every way, at every stage in my life, no matter what the circumstances are, my desire is to be my SuperSelf.
My dear maternal Grandmother, Zalise Tubbs, would always say, “Don’t act ugly because an ugly personality would eventually hold you back in the world.” As a young girl, my grandmother taught me the importance of being a kind, honest, and generous person.
Grandmother was also a woman of faith, she believed in getting down on her knees to pray.
A jovial round-figured woman with beautiful long straight salt and pepper hair that she always wore pulled back in a bun, my grandmother had substance as well as sassiness galore. She had a large presence, smiled at everyone, and always found something to laugh about. She chose to seek and find all the glee that she could to add to her life. She’d resolve the twists and turns of her experiences and uncertainty, no matter how difficult, with dignity, and with a special grace that was all her own. She’d find the right humor that could cure your pain. So, she wanted me to be just as sassy and resilient as she was. And I am.
Grandmother was also a woman of faith, she believed in getting down on her knees to pray. The Lord knew that she could pray, and we all knew that she could really pray too! But, when she got off her knees, all was in divine order. She’d start doing and working hard for whatever she desired or to overcome what caused her angst. She’d say, “I’m marching on toward a brighter day, with my head held up high on the Kings Highway.” She believed that hard times could either break you apart forever, or it would make you a more determined person. Prayer was her armor it gave her the strength with a purpose to forge on. Smacking life’s hardships to smithereens to come out victoriously was my grandmother’s philosophy. She had the faith!
My determination has always unlocked many doors for me. It has helped keep me physically and mentally sturdy. I never give up!
Like my grandmother, my focus is on all things splendid, good, and wonderful.
Grandmother encouraged me to see all of the possibilities in the world but to stay away from anything that even resembled trouble. She would say, “Forgive, but don’t forget” as to hold hostility or malice in the heart for disappointments or losses in life brings despair, hopelessness, and self-abuse which eventually destroys a person’s being. Remembering though, is how we learn not to repeat mistakes and recognize the nefarious in the world. Like my grandmother, my focus is on all things splendid, good, and wonderful. I’m always cautious and aware not to let anyone take advantage of me or my loved ones’ goodwill.
Early one Sunday morning, Grandmother looked at me over her extra large-rimmed Sophia Lauren frame eyeglasses with the heaviest of tears in her eyes, brought on by horrible news. A close family friend who also was an officer in our church, Sister Opal Turner had been killed in a terrible car crash and another good friend we called, Mother Bell was driving and she was on the verge of death. The two friends were returning to the San Joaquin Valley from San Francisco where they had attended a Pentecostal Assemblies of the World Convention.
This would be one of the few times that I saw my grandmother cry.
Grandmother was so very saddened, whispering to me in a soft shaky voice, one that I had not heard her use before, “Life is no joke, baby, you are here today and gone tomorrow,” she said, repeating it twice, “Here today and gone tomorrow.” She continued to whisper with her head bowed, “All terrible things shall pass, friends die, leave us, or change, but it would be my duty to face the unbearable with a solemn resolve.” She sat down to a slump in her grand rocker, and continued, “Make each day better baby, bit by bit, and put on a happy face.” This would be one of the few times that I saw my grandmother cry. She never displayed this kind of emotion outside her home though, she didn’t believe in it. Grief was a very private thing to her.
Like my grandmother told me, I put on a happy face.
My grandmother would be proud.
I have gone through many faces, styles, life challenges, and changes over the decades, yet my honesty, kindness, care, and love for my family and a fruitful well-established life, in general, have not ever changed. I’ve learned to be more and more curious about the inevitable adjustments, alterations, and continuous growth required in just living each day to the fullest. I too have found the fun, and the “no joke” in it all.
Currently, I display the face of a well-experienced, lighthearted, and knowledgeable woman who loves living. I am so grateful! I think, my grandmother would be proud.
Be Bold and Bloom, the best you can be every day in every way no matter what the circumstances are. Be your SuperSelf.